Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Irreverent Book Reviews: The Diary Of A Young Girl


Published in 1947 by what can only be assumed was a publishing house full of people who didn't read very much, this 'diary' will - I imagine - be the first and last thing we hear from Ms. Frank.
It was not at all surprising to hear that it is the work of a girl in her early teens, for her solipsism makes Bridget Jones seem like Deanna Troi. The Fielding-esque themes are all there (girlish notions of romance, the spectre of rejection, fear of being discovered and then killed by jackboot-wearing thugs), but Frank's book is for the most part a hollow tome, free of any semblance of narrative thrust. It seemed obvious to this reader that while Frank reserves a certain distrust for Germans, one can assume that at her tender age she most likely never even met a German, let alone visited the country for herself. And for all her talking, she doesn't really offer any solutions to the situation she finds herself in.
In finishing, it is important to point out that Frank's lack of narrative resolution at the book's end feels less like poetic ambiguity and more like she simply ran out of steam. Here's hoping her sophomore effort has a lot more bite.

Not Just A Murderer...

Obviously, Michael Barrymore is an easy target. He made for a fairly personable game show host, but in the years after the Stuart Lubbock murder investigation he cut a weird, ghost-like figure and made the most of his time in AA.

It would be easy to empathise with a man who was in the public eye and struggled for so long with his sexuality and alcoholism (tears of a clown, etc.) but for this grimy piece of 1984 TV.

Most people have probably seen it but, in case you haven't:

Hell In A Handcart

Was watching an informative BBC Four documentary the other night with my 'better half'. After it, I turned to her and asked what she thought of Milton Friedman's laissez-faire policy regarding taxation, but she stared blankly at me. I tried explaining the matter in more detail, thinking perhaps she hadn't quite grasped some aspect of a complex subject. Turned out it wasn't that at all; she'd be going to the bathroom to snort mephedrone for the duration of the film and was having trouble thinking about anything but sneaking down to her friends in some seedy nightspot.

Crystal Shackles, Loosed.

Archon and I are just enjoying a brandy in the drawing room, discussing the day's goings on. (For those of you with a palate and deep pockets, the drink in question is a Cognac Frapin
Cuvée 1888). Crystal Shackles, loosed.
Quite, Draco. If I may interject: In the end it came down to that old chestnut 'irreconcilable artistic differences'. One of us sat him (him being the third member of our 'writing team') down and gave him a stiff drink. (Not the Frapin, the man's tastebuds are as dull as his wit). In any case, I quoted him F. Scott Fitzgerald: 'Cut out all those exclamation marks. An exclamation mark is like laughing at your own jokes.' But he was outraged. 'You think you're the Marx Brothers', he barked at us. What's that, Draco? Ah yes, of course, he didn't say that at all. What he actually said was 'You think you're the Marx Brothers!!!1' He then stormed out, but not before finishing his drink in the manner of a dog that's been beaten into obsequiousness.

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This blog is a refuge from the oppressive philistinism of a society dominated by the Red Tops and Cheryl Cole's love life. It is a place for intellectuals, be they pseudo- or genuine. Here we will be harshly judging all things we feel are beneath us, hopefully with hilarious consequences, but ultimately for no reason greater than garnering a few cheap laughs.

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